Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas

My friend Matt loves Tom Robbins and insisted I would too, so I have checked out several of his books. This was my first, and probably not the best choice. It's written in the second person, which I liked a lot. It's very funny, and totally made me want to read more of his books. To say it was quirky is a major understatement. Despite generally liking it, I had these problems:

1. Tom Robbins, enough with the freaking analogies already
2. TR, sometimes you add weirdness for no apparent reason. Why is a jewel thief monkey a major character?
3. Tom Robbins, I have no idea what happened in your book. There is a twist at the end that I do not understand. What?
4. Wikipedia words my problem with your writing this way, that you seem to be, ""high-fiving" the reader after every cleverly worded sentence." Okay I get it, you're WITTY. Shut up about it.
5. Your book got kinda slow in the middle there. Blah blah frogs blah blah Sirius. I thought this was supposed to be a statement about how boring and "out there" your character was, but apparently it was a real message about how we are controlled by reptiles. Huh? Are you serious? I have no idea what that was about or how it related because it made me nap. Maybe that's why I don't get your ending!
6. TR, I am by NO means shy about sex talk, but I don't think I have ever read a book which used the word pussy more often. And I have toured the HQ of Hustler. Impressive, but how much vagina monologue did this book need?

I think it's a good sign that I completely missed the point of this book and its message yet still want to read the author again.